Every Food is Healthy

Finals week eve has been quite busy for me do to one single paper that required me to read a book. It was the worst experience of my college career but I'm actually done and can finally post a theorem that has been weighing on my mind for almost a week now.

Theorem 7: Every Food is Healthy

I was recently told by a second person that I consider to be healthy and knowledgeable on food in general that the doughnuts I was eating were unhealthy; that there was no healthy benefits to eating doughnuts. It troubles me very much to know that people can know so much about food but could believe such ridiculousness.

First of all I would like to say that if food weren't healthy, by definition it would not be food. It would be a drug. And I don't think the DH deals drugs to us.

Beyond that, doughnuts have carbohydrates and calories, which are both crucial to our existence. They have plenty of fat and oils and stuff, which are also important. This capstone of the food pyramid is often neglected and as far as I am concerned, it is the most important food group (since it is on top). There is sodium and protein in doughnuts and newsflash: you need these to survive.

As Bobby very brilliantly point out, if you were in the desert with only a doughnut to eat, it would be in your best interest to your health to eat the doughnut, therefore it is healthy.

But this does not prove my theorem, it just shows that doughnuts are, in fact, healthy. But if you take any food you can find something healthy in it. Candy: sugar, a basic polysaccharide needed for survival. Fried food: Fat, calories,...calories from fat, which leads to a large amount of energy to get you through your day. Ice Cream: milk product I believe, which makes it satisfy your 4-5 servings of dairy per day. Basically if it has calories it is a food and is therefore healthy.

Furthermore, most foods probably have a bunch of small vitamins, so if you eat enough of any food, you will get as many vitamins as any other food. And if not, you can always take a daily multivitamin.

I will conclude with my most the most frustrating claim of all that I hear: "Chipotle burritos are unhealthy becuase they have 2000 calories per burrito." Calories are a measure of energy, so that just makes them that much more healthy.

Sticks in five minutes.