Thursday, April 15, 2010

Weirdness Theorem


Due to my incredibly busy schedule and the nightly Halo that should start any minute now, I will have a guest appearance to TOL (Theorems of Life): Abadith.  The following theorem was invented, proven, and implemented by Abadith, a friend and dedicated follower of TOL.

Theorem 5: The Key to Life is to find a person with your same weirdness

According to Abadith, this is the only way to truly be happy in life.  I am not entirely certain on the specifics of this theorem, but it seems quite simple.  Simple but effective I'm sure.

Let's take an example: Abadith herself. Both Meredith and Abaigh are weird, and are weird in the same amount.  They are completely different people with different personalities and carry no common genes (i.e. different Momma).  However, it is their weirdness that brings them together.  To my knowledge, they are not lovers, yet they complete each other.   They bring happiness and joy to each other every day when they wake up and look into each other's eyes before they head off to class to draw pictures or write weird symbols.  And this is all because they are equally weird.

The way I understand this is that it is not necessary to have the same type of weirdness, only the amount of weirdness.  There are four main types of weirdness: Creepy, goofy, nerdy, and regular.  These weirdness types constitute the +x axis, -x axis, +y axis, and -y axis, respectively. Everyone's weirdness can be plotted somewhere on this xy-plane, and the magnitude of weirdness is obviously determined by Pythagorus (i.e. the square root of x^2 + y^2).  The Key to Life is to find someone else, anyone else, with that same amount of weirdness.

It is very simple, but there is no more important theorem than the Key of Life Theorem, so take this seriously.  Abadith found her weirdness match and they will live happily ever together.  They cherish each other's company and they fulfill each other's greatest desires. The end.

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