Friday, July 2, 2010

Thou Shalt Not Steal


Without going into too much detail about how the topic of stealing from the DH makes me furious in almost every way, I'd like to state that it does (make me furious in almost every way). Even just trying to find the right words for the opening sentence of this post has me a little frustrated and snappy.

Also, to avoid too much hypocrisy, I would like to say that I have, no more than once or twice, taken an extra muffin or doughnut. I also had a short period of about a week where I would fill up my empty water bottle with the raspberry flavored water after going to the Rock because I was getting bored with the average everyday H2O. I honestly cannot remember of any other time I have stolen from the DH. Oh, and also the time I put my silverware in my pocket because I needed both hands to thoroughly rub the sanitizer deep into my pores and then I found the silverware later that day. I felt guilty for weeks, but lucky for me that was just before Lent so I got to repent soon after the sin was committed.

Since this is a very controversial topic, I will pick my battles and start with the most obviously immoral: Taking more than 7 points or 9 points or whatever it is for Grab 'N Go. Grab 'N Go is nothing more than a privilege for those people who "don't have time" for sitting down at the DH. Therefore, it is in no way necessary that it be worth the price of a meal at the DH (which is like over ten bucks). If you give a mouse a cookie... Ridiculous. Be thankful for the option to get something out of your would-be-wasted meals. Besides, most of the Grab 'N Go food ends up in the trash anyway, but that isn't the reason it is insane to believe you have the right to take more than 7 points. It is insane because you don't even necessarily have to have Grab 'N Go. You can eat just as much food (actually way more) in the DH in just slightly more time (say, 7 minutes). Can you really not find an extra 7 minutes in your day to eat a variety of better food? You can, very very easily. And if you are lying to yourself and say you can't, then just make sure you eat twice as many calories as you normally would (eat fries and the fried chicken, quick calories there), then you don't have to get your next meal and can save that time.

This brings me to the most ridiculous, nonsensical argument I've ever heard. According to Joey, as a counter to the previous argument (that you can just find the time to go to the DH if you really want to), knowing that you have Grab 'N Go as an option will make you schedule your day differently and therefore you will end up not having enough time to go to the DH. In other words, you will naturally make it so you ONLY have time for Grab 'N Go. HAHAHAHAH. I have never once gone to Grab 'N Go for a meal, so that argument is automatically refuted. Also, if having extra options really and truly affects you that negatively, then you have a problem that needs a-fixin'.

So if I have to sum up the reason why it is immoral to take more than 7 points, I would like to cite Immanuel Kant's categorical imperative. Essentially, an action is moral if you can expect everyone to do that same action and there not be a contradiction. Can you expect everyone to take as many points as they like? No, Grab 'N Go would not work, and they would have to take it away so no one gets the privilege. I feel like a kindergarten teacher explaining this.

Now, for the less obvious but equally as immoral: Stealing "stuff" from the DH. I will group food together with things like chairs, tables, cups, silverware, plates, etc.

Everyone knows about the 200 dollars that is incorporated into everyone's tuition for stolen goods, so people think they are entitled to 200 dollars-worth of stolen goods. So, you say, we all should take what is rightfully ours since we have already paid for it. Do you think if we all took 200 dollars from the DH, the amount incorporated for stolen goods would be 200 dollars next year? No, it would be like 1000, because not everyone takes 200 dollars from the DH as it is, and it stays at 200 dollars. Then you see, "oh, I am paying 1000 for stolen goods, better get stealing." And then it goes up indefinitely.

So you say, no, that is all hypothetical and will never happen because the honest people won't steal. This is true, but why is it fair that you steal and I don't? It is not, which makes it immoral. Again, according to the categorical imperative, it is not morally permissible if you can't expect everyone to do what you do. So, since it is after all stealing and God/Moses/whoever with the tablet says Thou Shall Not (Shan't) Steal, I suggest no one steals, so that we can save 200 bucks. What's that you say? That is idealistic? Well screw you because that is the way it should be. You don't need to steal anything from the DH, those chairs are cheap and old and the cups suck. Sac up and buy it with your own money. Don't have the money? Take surveys and earn some petty cash. If you really want to steal something for fun, you should steal that something, then the next day impress that lady at the door by showing what you stole. Hopefully that will inspire her to be more attentive and earn her paycheck.

* By the way, has anyone seen the Even Stevens episode where Louis and Ren are both in detention together, and when the principle or whatever leaves, they flip everything over and start betting on which mouse will win the mouse race? And then when the principle comes back to check on them, they get back in their seats so that when the principle opens the door they pull the string which is attached to the lever which lifts the arm of the lifeless body of the detention guy. Anyway, the old lady with the red hair that might not live to see Fall 2010 reminds me of that detention guy.

Finally, to wrap up my point, I would like to say that it's not a big deal if you steal things, I just assume my financial aid covers that part, but don't even dare trying to tell me it is justified. Understand and admit you are acting immorally and by doing so, you are going to Hell. That is all.
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Stay tuned for my in-depth look into the immune system in Hand Sanitizers: Keeping You Safe from Germs or Making you Weak and Vulnerable?

Also, I would like to advertise JOsh's upcoming Australia blog. Hey, JOsh will have a blog about Australia.

1 comment:

  1. That is one of the worst arguments I have ever heard. Now, I tend to disagree with the majority of your theorems but I keep my mouth shut due to laziness. However, this is absolutely ridiculous and I must voice how bad an argument this is by saying, I've heard Geisman arguments that are more sound... and that is saying something. i will respond with bullet points so i do not have to write in paragraph form and/or complete sentences

    1. i myself prob steal less than you, considering i have never taken silverware, nor more than my 7 pts at grab and go, but i do not have an issue with people taking more than 7 points. 7 points is worth about 3 dollars and that is robbery on the part of the dh considering you are swiping for an 11 dollar meal. and i know 2 wrongs don't make a right, but retaliation is a lesser wrong so i say go ahead and steal right back.

    2. you admit you're a hypocrit b/c you yourself have taken more than you are allotted (extra donut, muffin, raspberry water, silverware). allow me to quote: "why is it fair that you steal and I don't?" well now you're just lying. we will always have to pay that $200 because even the "honest" kids end up costing the dh extra money whether they're on their moral high horse or not.

    3. there is no way to be in and out of the dh having eaten a meal, in under 7 minutes, at least without getting sick.

    4. grab and go is a necessity for those who get screwed by bad DART times, and they have only 15 min breaks for a several hour period. you can't say its not needed just b/c your schedule has never required you to need it.

    5. yes stealing is inherently bad, but you can see its being done for a logical reason. and until it effects us, i have no problem with it- that 200 dollars is there and it wont change because they have seen what happens, so there is 0 chance of it ever being eliminated

    6. you are assuming people are taking "as many points as they like." this is flawed b/c people are just taking enough to get an amount valued around what they are being charged for by swiping a meal. we know people steal and grab and go is still profitable for the university so it's not closing anytime soon. that type of "kindergarten teacher" argument doesn't work when you're talking to non-kindergarteners.

    i feel i have gone on long enough. i'll take silence as surrender, and if you respond, i'll see whether it dignifies another chunk of my life. this was just too angering to pass up. ultimately, i agree with your stance but the supporting contentions are embarrassing attempts at validating that stance.

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