Shower Sandals

There were two things I was reminded of this past weekend that I feel very strongly about. Both are extremely controversial and both make me absolutely livid when people disagree with me. So, since it is in no way sports related, I feel it is my privilege and responsibility to talk some sense into anyone who reads my words.

Theorem 12: Shower sandals are useless and unnecessary and a sign of weakness

I hate when people look at me like I'm crazy when I tell them I don't wear sandals in public showers. "Ewww! The shower floor is so disgusting, you'll get foot diseases!" I've asked many people if they know anyone who has ever gotten a foot disease from the shower floor, and so far no one has. And the only thing you have a reasonable chance of getting is athlete's foot, which as far as I am concerned is basically like a mild sunburn between the toes, easily treatable by some Aloe. We're not talking about gout or anything, just athlete's foot. And for a washed up three-sport high school sports player, it is kind of an honor to have that skin condition.

People also say, "Eww people pee in the showers." This is true (...I know that from hearsay). However, who cares? Urine is sterile, and every time you turn on the shower, it's like flushing the toilet: the urine gets washed down the drain. Touching a doorknob with your hand is really what you should be concerned about, those things never get cleaned. Furthermore, I'm pretty sure most people use anti-bacterial soap of some sort while taking showers (granted, I've only showered with myself so I don't technically know that...), so that soap falls on the ground and cleans the floor to a spotless "extra" clean. So if you are really concerned about your foot picking up some bacteria, just throw some soap down on the ground before you step in the shower or just wash your feet at the end. Washing yourself is supposed to get rid of bacteria after all.

Finally, people often say, "well what's wrong with just wearing sandals just to be safe?" Well I will tell you what is wrong with that, in the form of two rhetorical follow-up questions. "What's wrong with wearing a bomb suit when you go paintballing or a radiation suit when you do a titration in a high school chemistry lab?" and "Doesn't it feel weird being completely naked but wearing shoes?" Basically what I'm trying to say here is the sandals are unnecessary and it's all hype. I'm also trying to say that it's not a true shower unless you are naked.

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It's late so I will keep the more controversial of the two for tomorrow since this one has already gotten me riled up and I don't think I'll be able to sleep as it is. I'd also like to say I love you LeBron. Lastly, Jacob, I am glad to see your gray, lifeless, indistinguishable face in the followers section.