Texting

I have given my perspective on Facebook two days ago, and now it is time to comment on texting. I do not have enough thoughts to make it a theorem, so I will call it a Remark and it will be the third part in the eight-part series "Societal Flaws: Why People Struggle with Life."

Remark: Texting is a skill

Now we all have our texting style and I am not here to claim that one is better than the other. I'll be honest, I think I am a pretty good texter, but I understand that some people can disagree with this. Every once in a while I will send a text that I am really proud of and then I will lock it in my phone so that it never goes away when I delete my inbox. When I get bored I will go back and read them. I want to put them all together and make a book. Also, I have this uncanny ability to use every one of my 160 characters in my text without even trying. Enough gloating though, I need to get on with my thoughts about texting. I am having serious trouble concentrating though with these people in the section lounge reading math jokes off the internet to me. This is what happens when your roommate has an interview at 8 in the morning.

I will now run over some of the basic rules of texting. This should all be review:

1) Make sure you keep a good constant pace of texting. By this of course I mean that if you text someone and they take hours to respond, then you take at least an hour or two to respond to that response. It's called common courtesy.

2) If you send a mass text, you should let people know. The easiest way to do this is to start your text with "Mass text:". If you do not do this and people find out that it was a mass text, they will be extremely offended. Me especially. Nothing grinds my gears more than a mass text that I think is a personal text.

3) If your pace of texting is quick and consistent, make sure you keep it that way. I hate when I am expecting a text within a minute or two and I don't get it for ages.

Okay it's my birthday and I am done with this post. I have nothing to say about this and I have no idea how I am going to come up with five more parts of this series. But as a reminder, if you would like to read some of my best texts that are locked in my phone, let me know. Or, if you would like to be a part of my ListServ, which is essentially a group of people that I will text before, during, and after my Theology and Econ class on Tuesdays and Thursdays, let me know and you will be added. Basically all that comes of this ListServ is just a random text from me about whatever I am thinking when I get especially bored. A response would be appreciated but it is totally not necessary. I get enough enjoyment out of simply constructing a text message to send random people. I must say though, the ListServ is a good way to practice your texting without much pressure. If you would like, I could also reply to your reply with constructive feedback. If your name is Bobby or Tara, you are already on this ListServ.

LATER

Pressures of Life

So I am definitely feeling the pressure of this one post a day thing, but nevertheless I fully intend to keep my promise, and for at least one more day my promise will be kept. However, this post will not be a part of the eight-part series entitled, "Societal Flaws: Why People Struggle with Life," but rather it will be an important meditation on life in general.

Theorem 17: 99% of what we do, we could just as easily not do

So I'm listening to this singer named Kid Cudi and he is preaching to me about the pursuit of happiness. He says to me, "I'll be fine once I get it. I'll be good" (that's the three-syllable version of the word "good": Goo-uh-ood). Inspired by this, I read up on Celtic Christianity, which stresses that life is all about the journey and not the destination. Specifically, I read Long, Wandering Prayer by Calvin Miller. Conveniently enough, I find out later that this is also what is due tomorrow for my theology class so I really just killed two birds with one stone. Anyway, Mr. Miller and Mr. Cudi have both reminded me that society today has lied to us: we don't have to do anything.

When I get sick or feel a little cough coming on, the first thing I do is see what I can get away with not doing. It is amazing how much in my daily schedule I can just ignore. There are an infinite number of excuses out there and you can almost always find an excuse that doesn't involve a lie.

Now let's get specific: homework. Homework is worth points but it is not worth that many points. Just don't get a zero and you can get away with doing very little homework. Dorm responsibilities: if you live in McGlinn, you are screwed and my only advice is to stage a coup of the current regime. They are holding you back and are running a malevolent dictatorship. They have too much power and they don't know how to use it. Shamrock Snack Shop (now on Facebook)?? If that doesn't scream Third Reich, I don't know what does. However, if you live in Duncan, the word "responsibilities" is extremely vague and non-binding. If you doubt that, let me just remind you that I am social/spirit commissioner... I am neither social nor spirited. And I make sure it shows. Tests: you either know it or you don't, there's no two ways about it. Besides, worst comes to worst, you can drop the class. The educational system these days is designed for slacking; it practically encourages slacking.

Basically what I am saying is that if you don't think you have time for sticks, you are not working hard enough to find ways to make time. Most people classify things as "need to do" when in reality they are "why am I even doing this?" The end.

"Imma do what I want, lookin' ahead no turnin' back" --Mr. Cudi

Facebook Tips and Strategies

Part two of the eight-part series entitled "Societal Flaws: Why People Struggle with Life" will focus on Facebook and how you can be good and bad at Facebook. Part of this topic has already been discussed in Theorem 14 (Facebook Friending).

I do not have an official theorem for this topic as I have only had one day to ponder it, and I spent most of that day selling dance tickets. So instead I will just stream my conscience.

Statuses: So one thing I do not enjoy is that new thing with Droid that tells you where you are and makes it your status. Statuses are there so you can make a joke, proclaim your love for a sports team, and complain about something (not life). No one wants to hear you complain about life, but everyone enjoys hearing you complain about other things. Also it is assumed that if you spend a weekend with your boyfriend/girlfriend, you will have a good time. Correction: fabulous time. Another week of books and friends!! Haha it's real funny when you type it actually. Sorry, I try to avoid direct ridicule, and I appreciate that you have not unbookmarked the blog (I hope not at least), Jake, but I think it goes without saying that that was too easy to pass up.

So in a more general sense, statuses such as "I love my baby" are polluting Facebook. Speaking of polluting Facebook, I think soft porn has finally infiltrated Zuckerberg's site. My news feed told me that one of my friends likes "5 Things a girl does before meeting her boyfriend," and upon clicking on this link it asked me to verify that I am 18 years or older. I had to decline because I am only 12. Speaking of Zuckerberg, there is a sweet movie coming out on my birthday about Zuckerberg and Facebook. Fun fact that I learned from the previews: Zuckerberg is an actual pimp. I never would have guessed it off the Google images of him. Speaking of my birthday, I no longer need a Halo jersey as Geisman found me a 2-dollar gem of a John Starks jersey at goodwill. Speaking of goodwill, they have some REAL nice windbreakers for only five bucks. Good as a joke and as an everyday article of clothing.

For Facebook wall posts, everything is fair game, no one really looks at those and they are usually uninteresting. Facebook inbox messages are all personal and that's where you really can write your girlfriend/boyfriend Love notes. "Roses are red, violets are blue..." Facebook inbox messages are not for spamming, however. I am talking to you, Kelsey Marie Falter! Your business is a joke and I want to burn all of the books you try to sell.

Facebook chat is best done with a person in the same room as you. Facebook "likes" are a great invention and I love them. Facebook picture uploading should be kept in check, if you have over a million pictures that is too many. Facebook stalking is perfectly acceptable in all forms, including if you grade their math papers. Facebook friending is weird if you aren't friends. Or if you are weird yourself. Actually that brings up a good point: if you are weird yourself, Facebook is not for you. That sounds mean but it is really true. This is only the extreme cases, so don't worry if you have doubts about yourself.

Got this post in by midnight CST.

Ambiguity

So the second part of the two-part series entitled "How to Get Smarter" will be cancelled due to the fact that I never had a second part, I just wanted to call it a "two-part series." Or if I did have an idea for the second part, I would have forgotten it by now since it has been a few days since my last post. Nevertheless, I have officially made a vow to post once a day for the next five days starting today. The formal pledge can be seen on Facebook as my status. I also tweeted it (@BronBronNCo23). I am aware that my Twitname is outdated and I apologize.

I will now begin an eight-part series entitled "Societal Flaws: Why People Struggle with Life." That title is very tentative.

Theorem 16: Our society is cursed with perpetual ambiguity

It seems like almost nothing is taken literally these days, amiright? When asked about my love interests, I was recently asked "are you talking to person X?" My first thought was, "no... I'm talking to you. You can clearly see I am not talking to anyone else." This of course was not what the person was asking me, so I instead responded, "Well I'm not not talking to person X, if you know what I mean." This person apparently did not know what I meant. This person was expecting more of a response like, "no we are just friends" or maybe "yeah she's real hott." It makes no sense to me either.

And where I come from, "hanging out" is a very casual term meaning not doing homework but also not partying. It is a term meaning the middle ground, not a term meaning "on the verge of dating."

As for "hooking up," I don't even know. My neighbor's mom emailed me a few days ago saying she was coming up to campus and that maybe we could hook up. I felt so awkward that I couldn't even bring myself to reply to her email. Look at what society is doing to me...

The list continues with the term "texting." There is nothing about texting that should imply that you are interested in the person, even if it a person of my opposite sex. We all text our mom, and that's just weird.

The list goes on, "watching a movie" "getting some" etc. As a wise woman once told me, what happens in vagueness, stays in vagueness. Enough said. Not that that really makes sense, but it sounds cool. Oh, and she did not come up with that.

So, in conclusion, I have decided to go this entire week without any ambiguity in my language. I will take everything literally and answer every question like a wise guy. I do that a lot already, but I'm just going to do it more.

Alright, 10:28, two minutes before sticks, perfect timing. Let's go Tara, time for you to get farmed.

Learning

For the first theorem of the school year, I have chosen to keep it related to academics. This theorem will be part of a two-part series entitled "How to Get Smarter."

Theorem 15: Learning must come naturally or it won't come at all

This theorem is inspired by my theology professor, who recently tried to tell me that by listening and contributing in class discussion, I will learn the most about Exile, Exodus, and Pilgrimage. Listening, maybe: I know for a fact that everyone in the class is smarter about theology than I am so if the students happen to slip in a fact amongst their barrage of opinions, I could, in fact, theoretically, learn something. But with the same logic, the professor (Emily Stetler, I like her) is smarter than all the students, so I think she should just do all the talking. As for contributing, I know personally that no one can learn anything about what I have to say on Exile, Exodus, and Pilgrimage.

This brings me to my main point, which is that all classes should be lecture classes. It is by far the most efficient classroom form of learning. The smart person (professor) who has all the information gives it to the student, who receives it as quickly and efficiently as possible. Note: I have discovered that, aside from Lou Berzai, professors are all EXTREMELY smart in so many ways. Technology savvy maybe not, but very smart nonetheless. It is exactly when the student tries to offer their own information to the professor that this flow is slowed down. If a teacher gets lazy and doesn't feel like teaching, which I know I would do if I had the job of teaching to college students, they can tell you to read something with aforementioned information, but this information better be bullet-pointed or some sort of book on tape, otherwise it is only slowing down this flow. Honestly, I can't remember the last time I knew something that my teacher or professor did not know. Actually I can. It was my sophomore year in high school in my English class. I knew how to write sentences and paragraphs and she didn't. I know she didn't know this because she did not really know anything. But this was a special situation and as far as I can remember, she is the only teacher I have had that was so clueless.

Now you may be saying that class discussion is important for learning how to think critically and argue your points. This is approximately 85% true. Discussion helps in both aspects, especially in arguing your points. However, I believe that you don't really learn either of these things, they just come with practice. For example, you get practice with thinking all the time when you take a test, especially a hard test. The harder the test, the harder you have to think, and the better you get at thinking. And there are a million different things you can argue on your own time, including but not limited to: getting screwed on Halo spawns, why Troy Smith deserved the Heisman over Brady Quinn, and why it is unethical to steal from the DH. If you are interested in a mock argument for practice, Geisman is available for appointments in Room 250. Be prepared for a handsome dose of semantics.

There are two main ways in which lecture classes offer up information, and both have their respective places in academia. The first is the shotgun method, which is employed by John W. Stamper. In this method, you offer an incomprehensible amount of useless information that will be memorized and regurgitated on the test. The vast majority of this information will promptly be forgotten. However, is impossible to regurgitate ALL the information, and some still remains in the gut. Because there was so much to be memorized to start with, there is a reasonable amount that you have retained, thus a reasonable amount that you have learned. This is perfect for a class like Architectural History since the information obtained is equally as useless as the information forgotten, so as long as you got something out of the class, it is more successful than a class discussion. The second method is of course the opposite: full mastery. This is perfect for classes that are in a series, where you will need to learn everything so that you can build upon it next semester.

Lastly, I would like to point out that although this theorem seems tremendously biased toward people like me (math/science/business types), it is actually based in fact. You can't learn an opinion, you can only learn a fact. You also can't learn a skill, you can only practice a skill. Thus if you don't care about learning, then discussions and such might be the way to go. However, you won't get any smarter ("smart" is defined as the word to describe something with lots of information) and it will be a tremendous waste of 3 credit hours at a University full of information.

End of the Summer

I have not had much to write about all summer, and nothing has changed for today.  However, since I was called out by Marilyn on Facebook, I have to keep my dignity and make a post, so I will.  I will bid adieu to Summer 2010 and reminisce on the great memories of the last three months.

I have learned a lot this summer.  I learned that I may or may not be able to live off survey-taking as my full-time employment.  I estimate that I have made about 25 dollars this summer as well as a sweet Notre Dame basketball jersey and a ringtone download.  And that's only a few hours a day at entry-level survey-taking!  This would be a substantial income but I have to pay for my other job, online poker which so far has burned about 20% of my income.  But this is like taxes, or supporting a child or something.  So as long as I don't work too many hours at my second job, I should be financially independent within a few years (and raise a child! But probably only one...).

I also learned that The Office episodes are just as funny the second, third, fourth, and fifth times you watch them.  I officially challenge anyone to a contest of The Office trivia/knowledge/quotes because I will beat you.  I learned that having a good bite is not worth it.  The price of jaw surgery is far too high these days and if I could go back in time I think I would have saved my parents the hassle of paying even for braces.  Dentistry is a joke as well.  I can't believe it took me this long to realize that all they do is clean your teeth, which is what you are supposed to do every day.  The drill-brush they use is probably pretty expensive but I guarantee it is not as much as my parents pay to send me to the dentist once a year.

Speaking of a waste of money, there is nothing that is more of a waste of money than back-to-school shopping.  I just think it is a huge scam to get people to buy things for their children so that they don't get picked on for having old stuff.  And I know I am not the person to be harping on buying only the essentials, since apparently I buy overpriced boxers (I disagree with this) even though I get them for 60% off.  By the way, I am in the market for a new Halo jersey, so if anyone wants to get me one (my birthday is coming up) that would be greatly appreciated.  Reversible mesh jersey for under 2 bucks is the definition of a Halo jersey in case you are wondering.  I want to have a back-up so I don't have to do laundry every other day.

One of the most important things I learned actually is that reading can be enjoyable.  However, I would definitely not recommend reading for enjoyment under any circumstances for the simple fact that it takes too long.  You cannot enjoy 20 minutes of reading the way you can enjoy a 2v2 of Halo.  Sure, sitting down for an hour or so and reading a few chapters can be a good time, but I just don't understand why you wouldn't want to condense that enjoyment and then do it multiple times (essentially a three-game series).  I know I am a huge advocate of Halo and I mention it way too much, but really it provides enjoyment so much more efficiently than reading.  As I so eloquently put in a text message, I've been itching for sticks for quite some time now, and I will  be able to scratch that itch in four days!! WOOOO!! ND!!! YEAHH!!

Or, in other words, iloveyouilovendiloveyouilovend!!!  Rough translation: "I can't wait to get back to Notre Dame."

Which brings me full-circle back to my original point: this post is dedicated to Marilyn for calling me out.  And in posting this, I can officially say, "omg. 12 hours."

P.S. Upon returning to school, I intend to post thoughtful, productive theorems as opposed to these random streams of conscience. 

Facebook Friending

Today, I am proud to present one of Tom's most famous theorems. Only recently did I even consider it a theorem, but it definitely qualifies. It is already quite well-known but I would like to formally declare it as the 14th Theorem and present it to the world so that we may all benefit from it's wisdom.

Theorem 14: When you friend someone on Facebook you give that person the upper-hand, and vice versa.

The theorem is simple and self-explanatory so I won't beat a dead horse, but it is so true. The way I see it, if you meet someone and you friend them before they friend you, you are essentially more motivated to be their friend. Ergo, you need their friendship more than they need yours. Ipso facto, they have the upper-hand on you.

The term upper-hand may seem ambiguous and competitive and it may be both those. And this is what makes it such a great term. Essentially it means you are in control of the relationship. So, if you find yourself friending more people than are friending you, you are probably pretty whipped.

As far as I'm concerned, Facebook is an inferior social networking site to the more youthful and innovative Twitter. Twitter at least keeps track of this "leash" in the form of "Following" and "Followers" totals. If you are following someone but they are not following you, it is obvious they have the upper-hand on you. For example, I am following Blake Lively (@blakeclively) but she is not (yet) following me. In case you were wondering, she is "Wow, forgot about this. hi guys!" on August 13th, 2009. I was holding out for a while, hoping she would follow me, but she didn't because my Twitter account is BronBronNCo23, so she probably thought I was LeBron. Common mistake. Nonetheless, I had to give in and follow her, and now I am on her leash.