Productive Procrastination

In honor of finals week, this theorem will be directly related to finals.

Theorem 21: Procrastination is one of the best forms of studying

This theorem is based of the premise that people work better under pressure and when there is a looming deadline. That is, most people would claim that it is difficult to motivate yourself to start a project or paper weeks before the deadline. This is fine, although it is a sign of mental weakness, and it need not be detrimental to your academics.

So here is what you do if you work better when there is a looming deadline: you procrastinate. However, you don't procrastinate by creeping the book or getting a coffee from Starbucks, you procrastinate by doing other stuff that you are going to have to do anyway. Here's what a best case scenario looks like:

Say you have three things to do. Item A is due first, Items B and C are due later in the week. You know you don't want to do Item A because it's a theology paper, and no one wants to do those. However, you know (or you should) that one way or another, the paper is going to be done. No non-athlete at this school decides simply to not do assignments, so you can safely assume that no matter how much Halo you play between now and when Item A is due, Item A will be completed. So what you do is you work on Items B and C. In doing these items, you know in the back of your head that sooner rather than later you should be doing Item A, so you force yourself to hurry through items B and C. You want to stop after you finish B, but you also have the mental fortitude to challenge yourself to get item C done as well. Your deadline for Item C is now ASAP since it means you can start on Item A. So you complete item C more efficiently than you normally would, and you start on Item A. By this point, the deadline for Item A is close enough that you feel the pressure and get it done very efficiently. Magic, you have Items A, B, and C done well before the due date for Items B and C. You can now play sticks with me and Bobby who are staunchly opposed to nerdiness.

Another thing to keep in mind: The world will likely end in 2012. That means that your grades this semester will have zero ramifications. So again, it makes much more sense to farm with me and Bobby.

Part two of the two-part series entitled, "OMG IT'S FINALS WEEK!!!" will be presented later this week.