NumbSkulls

I will have to delay the posting of Hand Sanitizer: Keeping you Safe from Germs or Making you Weak and Vulnerable? to respond to one of the most infuriating comments made by Fitzy, a loyal follower and friend of the blog. I definitely appreciate the comment as well as the loyalty to the blog and I regret that I have to call Fitzy a numbskull (Geisman 2010), but there is no other option. I also apologize for posting a picture of Bronnie dunking on Kevin Garnett, there was no malice intended in that, it was just the next good picture that I could find on Google images. It's amazing how many of the images out there on Google are of LeBron...

1. No one EVER claimed that Grab 'N Go should be worth the value of one meal at the DH. You are expected to not use up all 14 meals, but people complained about this so they began a inexpensive system called Grab 'N Go as another option. A "gift" if you will. There is no way it is worth 11 dollars and no one would ever argue that it is. Besides, your meals at the dining hall aren't worth 11 dollars either, that is just the price they use to gouge from the wealthy parents and alumni and random people that will pay for it. It costs 2 bucks to get a Dr. Pepper from the vending machine, but no one expects to pay $48 for a 24-pack... This is not robbery because the alternative is a wasted meal. It is free food/mini water bottles, be thankful. I didn't want to have to bring this up, but there are starving children in Uzbekistan...

2. I did these unthinkable acts a while back, before I matured as a person. And I understand now that I was completely in the wrong. That's what the Sacrament of Reconciliation is for. Forgive me Father for I have sinned... I just wanted to clear the air so there wouldn't be anyone claiming they saw me take a muffin out of the DH, but I am a changed man now.

3. I'm estimating it takes about a minute and a half to walk to the basement, and a minute and a half to walk back, and then maybe two minutes to grab your food and check out. That's five minutes, and I'm saying you can get 7 more minutes to eat a meal at the DH. Subtracting out the travel time that is still necessary to eat at the DH, it absolutely is possible to eat in nine minutes without getting sick. You get sick when you lick doorknobs or make-out with everyone. You get a tummy ache when you eat too fast. And if you still debate this (which I'm sure you do), tune in to ESPN at noon on July 4th for the Hot Dog Eating contest, where Joey Chestnut will prove my point.

4. 14 meals a week, 7 days a week equals 2 meals a day. No class begins before the DH opens and I doubt you have classes that keep you from eating dinner. Lunch: it's very possible and probably likely that you can't attend lunch on a few days. But you only get two meals a day so I suggest breakfast and dinner. JOsh is always lonely at breakfast anyway...

5. This is one of the hardest points for me to explain through a blog, but if you don't want to pay the 200 dollars (which I don't) then you have to make a change. And I'm starting with the man in the mirror. If no one steals, eventually it will be taken out, you can't argue that. Obviously there will never be a case where no one steals, but if you think it is okay to, then we definitely won't. If you think it is not okay, then we might. Think about that...

And again, I'm just arguing it is immoral. See Kant's categorical imperative.

6. First, to take 11 dollar's worth of granola bars, do you have any idea how many granola bars you'd be taking? I honestly have no idea, but at the price they get those granola bars, it would be WAYYYY more than 7 points. Therefore, for all intents and purposes, I can say "as many points as they like."

Again, if everyone did what these people do, it would NOT be a good system and it would NOT continue. There is no way they would be able to keep it up if people took, say, 30 points at a time. Who knows if this is even profitable for the University? I don't even think it is. I truly believe it is just an extra system that students can use where the money used for its upkeep is negligible compared to that used for the DH.

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I'd like to say Happy Birthday America. I think we should all thank an American for making this country so great. And speaking of America, America's good friend Australia will be hosting JOsh, and we can all follow his adventures at

http://thereandbackagainaustralia.blogspot.com/

Now that I have cooled off a little, I would like to again apologize for calling you a Numbskull, Fitzy. That was uncalled for, but I have already written this thing and it wouldn't make sense to erase it. I appreciate your constructive criticism, it has forced me to make my points more clear and thorough. Thank you for making this country great.