Thursday, October 7, 2010

Athletics and Injuries


So I was very disappointed with my last few posts in my five-day blogging blitz, and I apologize if they did not meet expectations. I did, however keep my promise and I am very proud of that accomplishment. I was planning on deleting the last post, especially since it was essentially about balls, which is just weird and has no place in Theorems of Life. However, Anonymous likes it for some reason, so I will keep it.

Theorem 18: Playing when you are hurt is usually not a good thing, and it should not be praised

Announcers, coaches, and fans always seem to value those players that get hurt but then come out and play through the pain. I say that's total bush. If you get hurt in a game and tell the coach to put you back in, you are just being selfish and the opposite of a team player. Especially at the Division 1 or Professional level, where the backups are also freak athletes, the chances of a hurt starter being better than the backup healthy is highly unlikely. So when Mac got hurt in Miracle and Herb Brooks tried to get him to play since he "won't hurt it any worse," that made no sense. He should have reasoned with Herb and explained that all the players on the team are exceptional hockey players and to go out and play would only be making a spectacle of himself. Honestly, I think that game could have been a blowout had Herb not let his emotions take control of his decision-making. The Soviets were trash that year and they were given way too much credit going into the game.

Even when coaches take out a player when he/she has a minor injury just because he/she is a star on the team, the player should not ask the coach to go back in. I say, if you are a star on the team and you know you are good, you should protect yourself from all harm, even if it means sending in your backup to take the blows. That is the most team-oriented decision possible.

Also, when you are sick and you come to practice, you are doing your team no good and that is selfish. It is your job to get healthy for the game, so as long as you are doing everything you can to get healthy, your team can never be disappointed with your commitment to the team. When you are sick, your body is not 100% anyway, so if you can produce at the same output that you did when you were healthy, then you were clearly not giving it your all when you were healthy.

Finally, what really grinds my gears about coaches is when they ask for 110%. That doesn't make any sense, obviously, and it's just stupid. This is why I do not like the idea of coaches in general. See Theorem 2: Coaches are Overrated.

Any questions about this theorem can be directed toward Tara. She heard the whole theorem and more at the DH and she couldn't agree more with me.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Cojones

It is 8 o'clock on a Friday, my birthday, and I am still making sure I publish this post. It will be short however, and it will be about cojones, my favorite subject.

I realized this weekend how much life comes down to the size of your cojones. Just in general, if you have huge cojones, your life is so much different than if your cojones are average size or smaller.

If you have huge cojones, you are much less concerned about what people say and what society expects of you. If your cojones are below average in size you follow all the rules and never think outside the box.

I strongly believe that cojone size is based off genetics. Whatever your cojones you are born with, that is what you must live your life with.

Also, too much of a good thing is bad. If you have elephant cojones, you most likely will end up killing yourself one way or another.