End of the Summer

I have not had much to write about all summer, and nothing has changed for today.  However, since I was called out by Marilyn on Facebook, I have to keep my dignity and make a post, so I will.  I will bid adieu to Summer 2010 and reminisce on the great memories of the last three months.

I have learned a lot this summer.  I learned that I may or may not be able to live off survey-taking as my full-time employment.  I estimate that I have made about 25 dollars this summer as well as a sweet Notre Dame basketball jersey and a ringtone download.  And that's only a few hours a day at entry-level survey-taking!  This would be a substantial income but I have to pay for my other job, online poker which so far has burned about 20% of my income.  But this is like taxes, or supporting a child or something.  So as long as I don't work too many hours at my second job, I should be financially independent within a few years (and raise a child! But probably only one...).

I also learned that The Office episodes are just as funny the second, third, fourth, and fifth times you watch them.  I officially challenge anyone to a contest of The Office trivia/knowledge/quotes because I will beat you.  I learned that having a good bite is not worth it.  The price of jaw surgery is far too high these days and if I could go back in time I think I would have saved my parents the hassle of paying even for braces.  Dentistry is a joke as well.  I can't believe it took me this long to realize that all they do is clean your teeth, which is what you are supposed to do every day.  The drill-brush they use is probably pretty expensive but I guarantee it is not as much as my parents pay to send me to the dentist once a year.

Speaking of a waste of money, there is nothing that is more of a waste of money than back-to-school shopping.  I just think it is a huge scam to get people to buy things for their children so that they don't get picked on for having old stuff.  And I know I am not the person to be harping on buying only the essentials, since apparently I buy overpriced boxers (I disagree with this) even though I get them for 60% off.  By the way, I am in the market for a new Halo jersey, so if anyone wants to get me one (my birthday is coming up) that would be greatly appreciated.  Reversible mesh jersey for under 2 bucks is the definition of a Halo jersey in case you are wondering.  I want to have a back-up so I don't have to do laundry every other day.

One of the most important things I learned actually is that reading can be enjoyable.  However, I would definitely not recommend reading for enjoyment under any circumstances for the simple fact that it takes too long.  You cannot enjoy 20 minutes of reading the way you can enjoy a 2v2 of Halo.  Sure, sitting down for an hour or so and reading a few chapters can be a good time, but I just don't understand why you wouldn't want to condense that enjoyment and then do it multiple times (essentially a three-game series).  I know I am a huge advocate of Halo and I mention it way too much, but really it provides enjoyment so much more efficiently than reading.  As I so eloquently put in a text message, I've been itching for sticks for quite some time now, and I will  be able to scratch that itch in four days!! WOOOO!! ND!!! YEAHH!!

Or, in other words, iloveyouilovendiloveyouilovend!!!  Rough translation: "I can't wait to get back to Notre Dame."

Which brings me full-circle back to my original point: this post is dedicated to Marilyn for calling me out.  And in posting this, I can officially say, "omg. 12 hours."

P.S. Upon returning to school, I intend to post thoughtful, productive theorems as opposed to these random streams of conscience. 

Facebook Friending

Today, I am proud to present one of Tom's most famous theorems. Only recently did I even consider it a theorem, but it definitely qualifies. It is already quite well-known but I would like to formally declare it as the 14th Theorem and present it to the world so that we may all benefit from it's wisdom.

Theorem 14: When you friend someone on Facebook you give that person the upper-hand, and vice versa.

The theorem is simple and self-explanatory so I won't beat a dead horse, but it is so true. The way I see it, if you meet someone and you friend them before they friend you, you are essentially more motivated to be their friend. Ergo, you need their friendship more than they need yours. Ipso facto, they have the upper-hand on you.

The term upper-hand may seem ambiguous and competitive and it may be both those. And this is what makes it such a great term. Essentially it means you are in control of the relationship. So, if you find yourself friending more people than are friending you, you are probably pretty whipped.

As far as I'm concerned, Facebook is an inferior social networking site to the more youthful and innovative Twitter. Twitter at least keeps track of this "leash" in the form of "Following" and "Followers" totals. If you are following someone but they are not following you, it is obvious they have the upper-hand on you. For example, I am following Blake Lively (@blakeclively) but she is not (yet) following me. In case you were wondering, she is "Wow, forgot about this. hi guys!" on August 13th, 2009. I was holding out for a while, hoping she would follow me, but she didn't because my Twitter account is BronBronNCo23, so she probably thought I was LeBron. Common mistake. Nonetheless, I had to give in and follow her, and now I am on her leash.